Sofia – 30
Good evening, I am Sofia, I wanted to present a question of mine that has been buzzing in my mind for a while: how long can a couple’s relationship last if there is no love from one of the spouses? Can work, family and common activities keep two people together without love ?! My husband is always gloomy and sleepy on the couch, we spend whole days without touching, kissing each other and even in the evening when we could be together and go to bed for his part. We communicate yes, but if I introduce the discourse it justifies me by giving me paranoia and that it loves me. But in fact … do you believe that a couple like us, living together for a year, can stay more than 10 days without consuming a relationship? I hope for some enlightening advice before throwing in the towel. Good evening.
Good evening Sofia, managing a couple relationship is always a complicated thing, especially for a couple that has been living together for a year, the reasons are many, and simplifying is always wrong and certainly does not help to find a possible solution. When a cohabitation begins, many things change in a couple, and sex is the first element that is missing, thanks to the routine, family problems, responsibilities, and all that world that transforms itself from when a couple goes from being simple boyfriends or lovers, to a well-defined family unit. Answering your question is not easy, surely carrying on a relationship without feelings is not easy, and at age 30 no one would want to live with a person who does not feel any kind of feeling, but would look for another person with whom they can rediscover certain emotions. Sex is not always the warning to understand if a relationship works or not, the fact is that every individual experiences sexuality in a different way, for some people it is fundamental in a couple relationship and for others not, there are people who have relationships daily and others who do not feel this need, and sex becomes something marginal. In a couple relationship, communication is the basis of a relationship, and even talking about sex, especially if there are problems, is essential to avoid problems. The advice I can give you is to explain to your husband how you feel about being rejected, and how much you lack certain care; if indeed there is love in the couple, you will see that he will understand and things will progressively improve, if it were not so it will mean that on the other hand there is no interest in improving a state of discomfort, which inevitably can also lead to the breaking of the relationship